Sorry, Jo. No good news. I got stood up. Sort of.
Pitbull and I were supposed to get a drink Sunday night. He'd asked me, so I figured I'd wait for him to let be know the when and where. 5:00 -- nothing. 6:30 -- still nothing. 7:00, I put on my jammies and started an episode of Sherlock. 7:54, I got a text from Pitbull, and he acted as if we hadn't decided to see each other that very night. It was weird. I'm over it. Even if he's interested, it seems clear that we're totally incompatible.
1 Comment
I must admit something to you, dear readers. I think this man is very, very sexy: Yes, that's Pitbull. The rapper. I know he's friends with Chris Brown, and his lyrics tend to be on the misogynist side, and he's a bit...sneery. But I can't help it. Hot. So you can imagine my surprise when I received this text message from a legitimate prospect: Yeeeeeeeeeees.
We met a little more than a week ago. He didn't exactly look like Pitbull. But he was a very attractive man! We had a great first date that stretched into about four hours. That's a good sign, right? He seems to be the kind of guy who gets into heavy stuff kind of fast, but I like that. I make so much small talk in my work and in my day-to-day life, it's nice to meet someone who can talk about the stuff that really matters. I thought it went well. So I asked him if he wanted to get a drink one night last week and he said he was too tired. Sounds like a line that should be answered with "he's just not that into you." Right? If a guy is really excited to get to know you, he should be eager for opportunities to do so. Shouldn't he? He did ask again. We're getting that drink tomorrow. We shall see. Dalé! Picture the most orange thing you've ever seen. Maybe a monarch butterfly, a pumpkin, a carrot. Perhaps...an orange. Perhaps something you own that is the color of an orange.
Now make that orange thing a Hawaiian-style shirt, and add little pictures of beer bottles, about as tall as your index finger, every five or six inches all over the shirt. That is what #7 wore on our second date. I imagine this dude standing in front of his closet before he came to meet me. Does he just grab the first thing he sees? Does he settle on that shirt purposefully, thinking yes, definitely this one. Is he going hunting later? I know this might make me sound kind of shallow. In the grand scheme of things, what does one very orange, beer-bottle-emblazoned button-down even say about a person? I mean, he seems to be a perfectly fine human. I'm absolutely not saying I don't want to date him because of his shirt; were I significantly attracted to him, I could get past the shirt. He didn't make me laugh. We don't have much in common. And then again, maybe the sort of man who puts that shirt on before a second date isn't the man for me. Someone out there thinks that shirt is hilarious and awesome. That is the woman for him. If I see her, I'm sending her his way. He won't be hard to spot. Remember how I lost April?
It was dark times, dear readers. I wasn't very happy and I needed to make some changes in my life. I resolved to do more living. More living has resulted in less blogging. But June is going well! I've gone on two first dates this week and I promise an update soon. A couple of weeks ago I listened to an episode of Freakonomics. It's from February and it's called "What You Don't Know About Online Dating."
In the episode the host talks to a couple of economists about the ways in which online dating mirrors the labor market. In particular, they discuss thick and thin markets - the former being a large site like Match.com, and the latter being something super, super specific like FarmersOnly.com. I'm already in a real-life thin market (the town where I live), so my original "wide net" strategy feels right. I re-activated Match, so we're back to three platforms, casting winks and messages over hundreds of miles. But once you have a lot of options, you've got to appropriately filter those options. Because in the end, it's not about how many people message you, it's about getting the right person to message you. Or message you back. Whatever. Which to me, translates into "higher bar." Or perhaps "more specific bar." At first, I was saying yes to everyone, especially if they were close. Always swipe right. Return every e-mail. I'm rethinking that strategy. After a busy spring, I'm re-engaging in online dating for the summer. Adjusting my profiles. Rotating my pics. Getting specific. Might even do a little more research, having been inspired by the Freakonomics episode. But so far, nothing new to report. As always, updates as they come. |
JaneHi, I'm Jane. I go on dates. Archives
December 2018
Categories |