I don't have my last two dates lined up, but I have entered a new relationship with Twitter. Follow me: @JaneGoesOnDates.
The year is almost over. As I start to look for my last two first dates of 2014, I'm also thinking about next year. More on that soon.
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Despite being spot-on most of the time, Buzzfeed got my love life prediction totally wrong. The last twenty-four hours did not produce love, just one mediocre date.
I could recount the date in all its average-ness, but it's more or less like the other less successful dates I've been on. Not much physical attraction...conversation was easy enough, but he didn't ask me hardly any questions or show interest in me or my opinion. He's smart. He has a doctorate, and knows some interesting facts. But for me, the successful recounting of facts does not make for a great date. I gotta tell you -- I'm experiencing some serious first-date fatigue. I don't even get excited or nervous anymore. I just think, well, I said I'd do this three more times, so might as well check off number eleven while I'm in town. Apologies to anyone who's been enjoying this blog, but I took a Buzzfeed quiz while I was drinking my coffee this morning and apparently it'll all be over soon. What a relief.
Tonight I googled "rural dating." Here are the top four hits: Farmers Only "City Folks Just Don't Get It" Farmers Dating Site That's literally what it's called. Farmers Dating site. Something's happening with their punctuation. I feel like it should be "Farmers' Dating Site." Or maybe "Farmers: Dating Site." POF Apparently there are quite a few rural Manitobans who use Plenty of Fish to find other people from rural Manitoba. They have user names like "truckinfarmer" and "backroadslegit" and "RomanticFishingGuy." I guess "RomanticFisherman" was taken. BTW, Plenty of Fish is currently trying to rebrand itself as "POF." Say that out loud, Marketing Team. Actually, introduce yourself that way: "Hi, I'm on the POF Marketing Team." It just sounds weird, dude. Country Passions While I like the name better (so sexy!), it looks like this site was made in 1998 with Angelfire. By someone who doesn't know how to code HTML. (In the spirit of transparency: I don't know how to code HTML.) There are a few more, similar sites (partners4farmers.com and muddymatches.co.uk among them) and a couple of articles about Farmers Only. But excepting POF, all of these hits are for people who prefer a "rural" or "country" lifestyle. It makes sense, but if you're a frequent reader, you know that's not really what I was looking for. So next I tried searching "young professionals rural dating," and I got this: Just kidding! I got nothing. Nothing relevant, anyway. I shouldn't be surprised. I read everything I stumble upon about online dating. I know the magical internet hasn't created a solution to my particular quandary yet. But all I want is an answer to this question: How does one date when work you love takes you to a small town with few prospects for a more intimate, man-woman (in my case) kind of love. Work is awesome, and I'm lucky to get to do work that I both find meaningful and genuinely enjoy. But longer-term romantic entanglement continues to elude me. This one is violence-themed! SHOOTIN' Once again, I fail to see the appeal. Is this supposed to be sexy? Make you look powerful? Communicate your strong favor for second amendment rights? I mean, who can resist a crossbow? Or a pistol? Honestly, most of them seem to be dudes who are in the military. Which is fine! I got no beef with dudes in the military. Although I don't post pics of me at my job... DEAD ANIMALS I mean, I've got all these guns... First: turkeys. Deer. Fish. So many fish. And a shark! Ducks. I met him at a friend's party. He was handsome and charming, and I couldn't believe he was showing interest in me.
At the end of the night he kissed me - just a quick, sweet peck - and said he'd see me soon. He texted the next day, and the day after that we had dinner. He said I was vibrant. He made me laugh. He was much older than me. I saw him almost every day for about a week and a half. We had a great time, and talked about things we'd do together through the fall. Then, nothing. I texted and got no response. Called. Silence for three days. Day four, I got a text -- an apology and a promise to call "when things calmed down." That was about a month ago. It's just such a bullshit thing to do to a person. Guys, #9 came out of nowhere!
He sent a couple of messages, but seemed to want to talk in person. I actually prefer this operating model -- in general, it's a much more authentic way to get to know people. It just doesn't usually work in my town. We decided on Sunday night. So I show up at the bar and I realize I have no idea who he is. The host asks if I'm looking for someone and I tell him the truth: I am, but I don't know what he looks like. Internet dating, man. The host points out a guy who walked in just before me, but I'm genuinely not sure if it's him. The host (who I know a little bit - there aren't that many restaurants in town) says he hopes it's the right guy -- cause he is a total hottie. He texts. The lonesome guy in the booth is, in fact, the right guy. And he IS a total hottie. Like, he's really, really cute. Olive skin, big muscles, beautiful smile. Sexy tats. Dear readers, I was so nervous! I can't tell you the last time I got nervous on a first date. I suppose it's because this was the first time this whole year I sat down across from someone and immediately felt attracted to them. I mean, yes, I've gone out with some lovely people whose company I've enjoyed. But I sat down across from this guy and found myself both enjoying his company and wanting to jump across the table and make out with him. I don't get the feeling he wants to make out with me. It's been a couple of days and he hasn't texted or anything. (Maybe the other guys I've gone out with are just over-eager?) He gave me a hug at the end, but it was a bro hug -- one arm, pat the back. He said he wanted to hang again, but he also said he wanted to make more friends in town. We shall see. I'm gonna call him Hot Steve. Sorry, Jo. No good news. I got stood up. Sort of.
Pitbull and I were supposed to get a drink Sunday night. He'd asked me, so I figured I'd wait for him to let be know the when and where. 5:00 -- nothing. 6:30 -- still nothing. 7:00, I put on my jammies and started an episode of Sherlock. 7:54, I got a text from Pitbull, and he acted as if we hadn't decided to see each other that very night. It was weird. I'm over it. Even if he's interested, it seems clear that we're totally incompatible. I must admit something to you, dear readers. I think this man is very, very sexy: Yes, that's Pitbull. The rapper. I know he's friends with Chris Brown, and his lyrics tend to be on the misogynist side, and he's a bit...sneery. But I can't help it. Hot. So you can imagine my surprise when I received this text message from a legitimate prospect: Yeeeeeeeeeees.
We met a little more than a week ago. He didn't exactly look like Pitbull. But he was a very attractive man! We had a great first date that stretched into about four hours. That's a good sign, right? He seems to be the kind of guy who gets into heavy stuff kind of fast, but I like that. I make so much small talk in my work and in my day-to-day life, it's nice to meet someone who can talk about the stuff that really matters. I thought it went well. So I asked him if he wanted to get a drink one night last week and he said he was too tired. Sounds like a line that should be answered with "he's just not that into you." Right? If a guy is really excited to get to know you, he should be eager for opportunities to do so. Shouldn't he? He did ask again. We're getting that drink tomorrow. We shall see. Dalé! Picture the most orange thing you've ever seen. Maybe a monarch butterfly, a pumpkin, a carrot. Perhaps...an orange. Perhaps something you own that is the color of an orange.
Now make that orange thing a Hawaiian-style shirt, and add little pictures of beer bottles, about as tall as your index finger, every five or six inches all over the shirt. That is what #7 wore on our second date. I imagine this dude standing in front of his closet before he came to meet me. Does he just grab the first thing he sees? Does he settle on that shirt purposefully, thinking yes, definitely this one. Is he going hunting later? I know this might make me sound kind of shallow. In the grand scheme of things, what does one very orange, beer-bottle-emblazoned button-down even say about a person? I mean, he seems to be a perfectly fine human. I'm absolutely not saying I don't want to date him because of his shirt; were I significantly attracted to him, I could get past the shirt. He didn't make me laugh. We don't have much in common. And then again, maybe the sort of man who puts that shirt on before a second date isn't the man for me. Someone out there thinks that shirt is hilarious and awesome. That is the woman for him. If I see her, I'm sending her his way. He won't be hard to spot. |
JaneHi, I'm Jane. I go on dates. Archives
December 2018
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