My friend Elise is married to an introvert.
Before embarking on my 13-date quest, she gave me this advice concerning introverts: slow down. Introverts tend to respond more slowly in conversation, because they're processing their reaction inside their mind before they speak. At first I brushed her advice aside - my sister's an introvert, I have introverted friends, and we communicate just fine - but I did listen, and her advice proved helpful tonight. Dear readers, #2 was an Introvert. Capital I. And this was hard for me. I process out loud, all over everyone all the time. And I talk fast. I think fast. Silence in a conversation makes me uncomfortable. Right at the beginning he seemed a little nervous. As soon as I met him, I didn't feel nervous at all. (I remembered to put on dangly earrings before I left my house, which always makes me feel pretty and feminine and a little bit powerful -- helps with the first-date jitters.) He paid for my tea, we sat down in a booth, and talked for about an hour and a half. It started a little slow. There were many pauses. But I think Elise would have been proud of me tonight. I did not immediately fill every silence with my words. I waited! I was my genuine self, yes, but I worked hard to be patient, and turns out, it wasn't super weird. In fact, after about forty-five minutes he seemed to loosen up quite a bit, and I saw we had more in common than I realized at first. At the end of the date he seemed eager to see me again. I'd actually like to see him as well...but in the established and platonic capacity of friends. He seems like a kind, gentle, thoughtful man, who would be a great match... for someone else. So yes to friends. I hope he'll be okay with that.
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JaneHi, I'm Jane. I go on dates. Archives
December 2018
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