I kissed a girl on New Year's Eve. Actually three girls -- I was a little caught up. Lesbian bar, music, champaign shots... I turned to this hot girl next to me and said, "you know, we could kiss" and she smiled and said "okay" and then I did it two more times.
This doubles the total number of women I've kissed, though I do have a lot of experience kissing (male) strangers. I might've even used that same line before, on dudes. All week I've been wrestling with this question: was it different? It was, and it wasn't. It's never been particularly hard for me to hit on people (with the assistance of alcohol). In some ways I felt really similar to the way I did hitting on dudes five or six years ago. Excited. Sexy. Confident. I also asked one of the girls I kissed if she wanted to get coffee sometime. That's different. I've never asked a random guy in a bar on an actual date, like for later. The objective's always been more... immediate. Sadly she lives 2,000 miles away. But I asked! And I think she might have said yes if we lived in the same town. Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I asked anyone on a date without the assistance of an app, and it is definitely the first time I asked a woman (like, to her face) on a date. A lot of things are different now. I'm older. I know myself better. I'm not interested in just hooking up. In fact, maybe the biggest change is in how I feel -- even compared to a month ago or two ago. I'm more hopeful, more interested. A new year, full of possibility and potential, can bring those feelings to the surface. So can kissing three girls in one night.
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JaneHi, I'm Jane. I go on dates. Archives
December 2018
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