Although federally recognized as Washington's Birthday, the third Monday in February is colloquially referred to as "Presidents' Day." Last night I wondered if there was any more significance to this holiday than literally celebrating Presidents of the US.
There is not. "Presidents Day was informally coined in a deliberate attempt to use the holiday to honor multiple presidents and is virtually always used that way today." Well fuck that noise. Do a bunch of super powerful white dudes (Obama notwithstanding) really need another day (beyond, you know, every day) for us to celebrate them? Nope. Dear readers, I am reclaiming Presidents' Day - for all the single ladies, everywhere. Maybe we'll call it Madame President's Day. More on that in a minute. But first...I've been thinking. Our country pretty actively discriminates against single people. I want to be very clear that I'm not comparing being single in America to racism, homophobia, classism, sexism...any of the other identity markers that facilitate oppression in this country. I would not tackle those things in a whimsical blog post on my dating (or now it seems, not-dating) blog. I was also just chatting with a dear friend who rightly pointed out that being in a relationship is not always rainbows and sunshine, either. We're all humans, whose lives and mental health and emotional wellness ebb and flow. But listen, I do think singles discrimination is a real thing. A few ways single people might experience discrimination. Married people get...
This Atlantic article from 2013 calculated - conservatively - that over her lifetime a single woman might, through taxes, social security, housing and healthcare, pay more than a million dollars extra for being single. A MILLION F'ING DOLLARS. All of those things can make being single feel like a punishment. Like choosing to be single is not a good or legitimate state of being. It's earthly purgatory, where you're just waiting to become coupled and reap the emotional and fiduciary rewards. That shit affects you! Like, here's an example: I used to feel a ton of internal pressure to take on more work so that married or coupled people could go home to be with their spouses and families. Let me reiterate: that was INTERNAL pressure. No one told me to do that. I work with wonderful, kind people. I just believed that my life as a single person was less valuable than theirs. That belief, and the self-loathing resentfulness it caused, threatened to damage my relationships with close friends. I was kind of an asshole. My friends, thank sweet baby Jesus, are not assholes, and believe my life does have worth. We overcame. But I wondered what other impacts these messages about being single were having on me, maybe without me realizing it. So I decided that today - Madame President's Day - I would celebrate me and myself. No apologies. And please, if your response to that declaration is a paternal "good for her!" and a strong urge to pat me on the head, please check yourself. Is that a manifestation of SINGLES DISCRIMINATION? (Or, honestly, some kind of weird sexism? I am a grown-ass woman, there will be no head patting.) Here's what I did: I got up and made myself fancy brunch. Coffee with Baileys, bacon, omelette, sweet potatoes. I watched the SNL 40th anniversary special and laughed out loud, and then I watched the newest episode of The Walking Dead and talked to the characters the same way I would have if I were watching with someone else ("Oh, Sasha, nooooo!). I put on my new favorite shirt and went out into the world to sip tea and read. I bought myself some fro-yo, and I sat at the big, comfy corner table. I walked two miles and listened to Pitbull the whole time. I came home and opened a bottle of Cabernet I'd been saving for a special occasion. I AM A SPECIAL OCCASION. Then I dropped my favorite bath bomb into my tub and watched the water turn pink around me. Now I shall finish this post and watch some Beyonce videos. Happy Madame President's Day, y'all.
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6/12/2017 11:07:42 pm
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