Some personal statistics, for your consideration:
I should say at this point: I don't really believe in The One. I believe there are lots of potential Ones, that you find One and make a choice to be together. That choice is love. Being together not because you're destined to be, but because you decided to be. I think that's real, and I think it's beautiful. But how do you know when you've found a potential One? Especially in my situation -- when you've gotten to know a virtual slice of their personality before you actually meet? What's the impact of online interaction on real-life chemistry? Before moving to the rural Southwest, my rule was that if I liked someone I would try to meet them in person as soon as possible. Otherwise, I would manufacture a version of them in my head. That version was inevitably not them. That's tough out here. Because of distance, I have to be patient about meeting people. In a few cases, I worry that I'm doing a pretty bad job guarding against the dude-creation factory in my brain. I worry that, in the two instances where I've dated someone I met online, it's only because they more closely matched what I made up in my head. Because in both instances, after about a month or so they turned out to be...not quite who I thought they were. Disappointing. But then, that happens in real life, too, doesn't it? You think someone's ready for a grown-up relationship, but one day you realize they don't understand their own feelings, much less have the ability to share those feelings with you. Whether braving the digital frontier of love or just powering through the old-fashioned way, we all end up presenting our heart to a stranger and asking them not to break it. Either way, its a pretty big leap of faith. Geeze, this is starting to sound like a bad 2005-era Live Journal. Next time I'll go back to being funny and weird instead of just weird, I promise. Date #3 might not be too far off on the horizon, check the Dates page for updates.
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JaneHi, I'm Jane. I go on dates. Archives
December 2018
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