Indian food is a bold first date choice for corn-fed Midwesterners.
I went on date #2 this weekend, but first, dear reader, I want to talk to you about therapy. I'm a big believer in therapy. My initial experience in counseling was more than twenty years ago. At the tender age of ten, my mom took me to her therapist -- presumably to ensure that my tumultuous relationship with my bio-dad wasn't messing me up too badly. I loved therapy. As a kid I enjoyed talking to adults, and talking about myself. A whole hour in which the primary objective was to examine myself at great depth with a captive audience? Yes, please. I started back up with a new therapist this week. Intake appointments are rarely a revelation. It's a lot like a first date, actually. You get to know each other, share your expectations, see if it's a good fit. I liked this counselor. Halfway through our session she asked what I was looking for in a therapist, and I was surprised to find that I didn't have an answer. Y'all. I don't know what I want. I am a very goal-driven person. I approach situations strategically. I figure out what success looks like for any given project, experience, goal or relationship, and then I develop a plan that should result in the achievement of said goal. This has served me quite well at work. It's also been helpful for my therapists in the past, especially when I was really struggling. For example: I want to stop having panic attacks. (Clear, attainable vision with a measurable goal); I want to let go of the anger I feel toward my bio-dad. (Great. A worthy goal with logical steps toward achieving it.) But right now? Right now I want... I want... I don't know how to capture it in words. I just keep coming back to this: I don't know what I want. And I'm not just talking about therapy.
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JaneHi, I'm Jane. I go on dates. Archives
December 2018
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